On the minibus trip, I noticed a dull moustachioed Belgian and a pair of German dykes. I like women licking each other. The dykes were called Pam and Barbara and I watched them play in the waves. Barbara's breasts were the most pert: they were probably silicon.
"Nice tits," I said, playing with myself.
"Thanks."
I watched TV in the hotel. The Yanks were taking over the world again. Being governed by fucking idiots is utterly disagreeable.

Der Guardian: Lanzarote by Michel Houellebecq. Condensed in the style of the original. Dort hat es auch eine Harrypotterkurzfassung.