A misremembered lyric: a soft catch of its song whirrs in my throat. 'Something's gotta hold of my heart tearing my' soul and my conscience apart, long after presence is clean gone and leaves unfurnished no shadow. Rain lyrics. Yes, then the rain lyrics fall. I don't want absence to be this beautiful. It shouldn't be; in fact I know it wasn't, while 'everything that consoles is false' is off the point - you get no consolation anyway until your memory's dead; or something never had gotten hold of your heart in the first place, and that's the fear thought. Do shrimps make good mothers? Yes they do. There is no beauty out of loss; can't do it - and once the falling rain starts on the upturned leaves, and I listen to the rhythm of unhappy pleasure what I hear is bossy death telling me which way to go, what I see is a pool with an eye in it. Still let me know. Looking for a brand-new start. Oh and never notice yourself ever. As in life you don't.

('A misremembered lyric' uses a phrase from 'Rhythm of the Rain' written by Gummoe, sung by The Cascades, and from 'Something's Gotta Hold Of My Heart' by R.Cook and R. Greenaway, recorded by Gene Pitney; the poem also quotes a line from Graham Greene's version of a 1930s song.)

DENISE RILEY